Jesuits In Their Own Words

Deepening the Commitment, Growing into Priesthood

posted by: jcad on Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Recently, I was ordained a deacon with seven of my Jesuit brothers. Born on four continents and members of six Jesuit provinces, we have trained together for these last three years at the Jesuit School of Theology at Berkeley, California. The celebration was a joyous one, bringing together our families and friends and people from the parishes in which we have served in the Oakland Diocese, uniting us in one of the most ancient rituals of the church. As I lay prostrate during the litany of the saints, I felt myself borne up on the prayers of all those who have shaped me and loved me over this 10-year course of formation. I knew that they had made real and confirmed for me the vocation that I had sensed so many times in the quiet of prayer; they gave substance and meaning to the secret inklings of God’s call that first appeared so many years ago.

Matthew Carnes, left, on the day of his ordination as a deacon.This final stage of formation for priesthood has given me a chance to reflect on, and deepen, the graces I have experienced in my Jesuit life. After teaching Spanish and Economics for two years at Bellarmine College Prep (San Jose, California) and collaborating for one year with an international group of Jesuits at reconstruction efforts after Hurricane Mitch in Honduras, I was eager to integrate what I had done and felt within a theological worldview. I had been doing this implicitly for a long time through prayer, reading and conversation with other Jesuits, but theology studies have given me the chance to do it in a more rigorous way. Courses on the origins of social justice in the Old and New Testaments, systematic theology (especially Christology and Ecclesiology), and practical matters like preaching and confessional counseling have challenged me to connect my ministerial experience with the tradition of the church and the God I have experienced in prayer. This is a unique time of building and integrating my priestly identity, my sense of God and God’s church, and how I will serve that church.

Matthew Carnes on baptism day at St. Andrew-St. Joseph Parish in West Oakland, California.The most fulfilling part of theology studies for me has been the pastoral work in which I have been engaged. Shortly after arriving in Berkeley, a group of Jesuit friends and some of our lay classmates decided to work with five of the poorer parishes in West Oakland by providing a retreat program for their youth. We adapted the retreats in which we had participated in our high school work, trying to make them accessible to inner-city youth from widely varying backgrounds and cultures (African-American, Latino, Vietnamese). Each retreat was an incredible challenge – financially, logistically, and socially – but each reminded me powerfully of God’s special compassion and love for those who are marginalized.

Through the retreat program, I began to worship with the Spanish-speaking community at St. Andrew-St. Joseph Parish in West Oakland. I could not have found a better community in which to be nurtured as I approach priesthood. Families have welcomed me into their homes, sharing their lives (and some wonderful food!) with me, teaching me what they expect from their ministers. Recently, when I served as a deacon in the Mass, several of the youth presented me with a beautiful stole, hand-made by the religious sister who is the pastoral administrator of the parish. As I wore it and preached my first homily to them, I could sense in a palpable, living way how God has been shaping me for priesthood. And now, as I approach my first set of baptisms this weekend, I am filled with joy and hope by this wonderful start to my ordained ministry.